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Home Page Your Planning Session Your Rehearsal Your Ceremony All About My Services About Thomas Witham Services and Fees See The Most Important Change Why 96% Hire Me My Philosophy The Couples I Work For Thank You Letters Where I've Performed Las Vegas or Chicago? (Eloping)
Designing Your Ceremony
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Advice On:
Considerations:
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I am a Humanist Celebrant, and have the
legal credentials as such. As a wedding minister or wedding officiant, I may perform wedding ceremonies in any state.
I also play a central role in my couples' wedding planning. Humanism is a philosophy, or we might say, an attitude toward life.
Humanists believe in the support and nurture of the entire human
community. As a Humanist I strongly endorse the following: |
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To give you a better understanding of how my background as a wedding minister or officiant relates to my brides and grooms, I will present the following information in a question and answer format, using the questions typically asked of me by my couples: Is Humanism a religion? No it is not, and therefore it is not in conflict with anyone's religious views. Humanism is a philosophy or an attitude about life. Most people are humanistic but have never heard their beliefs given that title. Most Americans I know, be they Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, or non-religious, believe in most if not all of the points I have listed above. Are they not taught us from grade school through college? Humanism is not a substitute for religion, it simply upholds a number of wonderful ways of living with fellow human beings. The vast majority of religious people hold very Humanistic views about living with one another. What kind of ceremony do you use? My ceremony uses many universal themes that express my views about marriage:
A wedding ceremony is no place for controversy. Neither is it a place to preach, raise money, or express political views. My ceremonies have always been well received because they express what the majority of the public and I believe about wedded life. May couples compose their own vows? Yes, they may compose their own vows and any other element of their ceremony, including substituting the entire ceremony for their own. Do your ceremonies reference God and use prayer?
Many of my couples want to honor God, their faiths, or religious identities during their ceremony. However they don't want any religious expression used in their ceremony to be heavy handed, preachy or saccharin. Other couples want no religious expression in their ceremony because that would not reflect who they are. Your ceremony is not a place to become more or less religious, that would be disingenuous. Do you have any prohibitions regarding your ceremonies? I will not perform a ceremony that fails to honor and dignify marriage. I also will not perform a ceremony in an inappropriate place. I do not participate in "theme" weddings as when brides and grooms dress up in costumes and play act other roles. I have no use for gimmick weddings. Marriage is the foundation of family life- the lifelong commitment of a man and a woman for each other. Let us therefore honor and protect it, and let this begin at your ceremony. Do you question the religious beliefs of your brides and grooms, or their reasons for getting married, or require them to take classes? No I don't. You're adults, and deserve to be treated that way. It isn't anyone's business but your own as to why you are marrying. What other advice do you have for couples who are considering your services? My couples have power of editorship over everything that is said and done during their ceremony. These details are worked out during their wedding planning session with me at their home and during their rehearsal session. Put your heart into what you're doing and create a ceremony that reflects your feelings for each other as well as your beliefs in marriage. Your wedding day and your married life begin with this event.
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Complete
freedom is given to my brides and
grooms regarding the expression of their religious beliefs. Many couples have
requested me to use prayer and scripture reading. Other couples have
asked to have their own clergy participate in the ceremony with me.
Consequently, I have concelebrated my ceremonies with Jewish rabbis,
Protestant ministers and Catholic deacons. These ceremonies
wonderfully expressed the religious beliefs of the bride and groom.