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I couldn't be happier for you. I say this assuming that you
are not a widow or widower. If you have an interest in this
page, it's probably because a prior marriage of yours has concluded.
You may have wanted it to conclude, or maybe you didn't. You
may have been the first to know is was concluding, or maybe
the last.
Either way,
I'll bet it was an ordeal wasn't it? And I'll bet a painful
one at that. There were all those expectations - the house,
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the kids, the "happily ever after"
that didn't come to pass. Some experiencing the trauma of divorce
seem to take it in stride, for most though, it will be the death of
a dream.
We human beings are a complicated lot, living
complicated lives. Maintaining a happy marriage is beyond the abilities
of half who attempt it, no matter how well intentioned they are.
Indeed some problems will only become apparent to couples only after
they get married; for if there is a weakness in the relationship,
or in either personality, the rigors of marriage will surely find
it.
Society and unfortunately religion often add
to the problem by shaming those who prematurely end their marriages.
Added to that is ones' own desire not to have a "failed marriage."
But many who stay married to avoid the stigma of divorce spend decades
in barren and often abusive marriages- all not to let down someone
else's' expectations.
I want you to know some things up
front. That prior marriage of yours wasn't a failure. That marriage
went as far as you both could take it. It reached a point where
it was no longer tenable- and then it concluded. I've married thousands
of couples, not one of which ever told me " Thanks Tom!, I
hope we get a few months or a few years out of this." All wanted
to take their marriages to the grave.
I have no guilt or shame for you
and I have no questions about your marital history. I personally
hope you forgive what needs to be forgiven, and look at your prior
marriage as the learning experience that it was.
I am also hopeful that you just might
be entering into a relationship with the love of your life. The
one that was meant to be, and the one you deserve. And to that end,
I intend to fully advocate you in front of all your friends and
family.
I think you'll find that they, like
me, couldn't be happier for you.
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