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| Keith and Jennifer, standing in center aisle in the photo above, watch a photo montage along with their guests which will honor loved who have passed away. The presentation is entitled "Forever In Our Hearts" and will be ten minutes in duration. This is an act in memoriam and there are many such ways of honoring friends and family who have passed away during your ceremony. | |
Byron's mom had passed away a very young woman, and it became clear to me as I came
to know him that Byron, years later, deeply missed his mother. His ceremony would
have been incomplete to him had he not honored her in some way. I suggested he do
this by pausing his ceremony after the exchanges of vows and rings, and cast a rose from a
bridge over a nearby stream in her memory. The first photo at left records this moment. Joined by a grandmother and other relatives Byron's bride Kelly casts the rose for him as she and Byron hold hands. There ensued a very emotional moment for all, and Byron's father came up to help him through it. (second photo at left). In wedding planning honoring loved ones, usually immediate family or close friends, can be done in a number of ways. The third photo shows how another couple, Rick and Mary Ellen, honored the memories of their moms during their 20 year renewal of vows. During their ceremony, candles were lit on behalf of the mothers and the ceremony paused in silence. A second version would have been to lay a rose at the base of each picture just after the bride and groom presented roses to VIP guests.
A fourth would have the bride or groom, upon walking down the aisle at the ceremony's beginning, place a rose on a front row vacant chair and then take their place for the start of the ceremony. The guests would have been told by me before the ceremony began what this gesture means and who it is for. A fifth version would take place after you have given roses to VIPs (if that option were used). I would name the loved ones to be honored, and invite your guests to pause with you in silence. After an appropriate time, your ceremony resumes and proceeds into final commentary.
But you might become emotional you say? So what. I personally don't advocate candy coated wedding ceremonies. An action in memoriam is to honor your loved ones in a very real way. And yes, it may involve emotion both on your part and some of your guests. An act in memoriam honors the loved ones who contributed so much to your lives. If it is right for you to do this, it can be in many beautiful ways.
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A third version would be simply to place
photos of those to be honored in an appropriate, highly visible place, such as by the
Unity Candle, but not to involve the photos any further in the ceremony. 
The decision to honor loved ones who have passed away lies
strictly with the bride and groom. Every couple knows if this should belong in their
ceremony and your guests will completely understand you if you do, or do not, include this
element in your ceremony.