An Honoring In The Stillness
Barb met Caryl during her sophomore
year in high school and they quickly became the best of friends.
Barb said they saw each other through everything- good and
bad. Their closest of friendships, a 22 year friendship, was
ended by a motorcycle accident that took Caryl from us.
Barb knew that Caryl's favorite
flower was the stargazer lily. She honored her in the following
mid-ceremony after the exchanges of vows and rings and the
presentation of roses to family members,
Barb and her groom John returned to center position. I explained
to her guests the passing of her best friend Caryl,
and how Barb wanted to honor her. I gave Barb a stargazer
lily and asked the first and second brides maids to part,
leaving a person's width between them.
In the silence Barb stepped over
to this spot, came down to floor level, and reflecting on her
best friend, placed the lily where Caryl, as a bridesmaid,
would have stood. The guests, and especially the flower girl
and ring bearer (Caryl's surviving children) understood more
fully what Caryl's friendship meant to Barb. This moment is
shown in the image above.
A bride and groom could also place
a long stem rose on a vacant seat on both sides of the aisle.
Other couples simply ask me to pause the ceremony, as the names
of their loved ones are read to their guests. I then thank
the guests and the ceremony resumes.
These are but some of the many,
moving and visually poetic ways, of honoring loved ones in