Becoming
a Lead Actor and Actress
"Stuff"
happens. And sometimes "stuff" happens in a wedding ceremony.
I have seen couples desperately try to light a Unity Candle which
absolutely refused to light. One couple lit their Unity Candle
but as they walked away the candle went out leaving only a wisp
of rising smoke. The audience gasped and thought they were seeing
an omen. In another ceremony a car crashed just outside on a
nearby
highway. The sound of shattering glass left all of us wondering
if the occupants survived. They did, and without injury. Then
there was the bride's father who showed up intoxicated and became
rather vocal throughout the ceremony. At first the guests chuckled,
but before long the gentleman was escorted out.
 Regarding
your ceremony, you must prepare yourselves for things that
might happen which are not in the script. Most importantly,
you must prepare yourselves on how you will react to them.
For if an incident happens, the guests will do two things:
They will look at the incident, and then the will look
right at you. They are intensely curious to see how you're
going
to react.
Many
years ago, I performed a wedding ceremony at a gazebo in Valparaiso,
Indiana. It was a beautiful summer day. On the left side of the
aisle, a baby in the arms of her mother began to cry, and then
began to cry louder. During the exchange of vows, the bride,
thoroughly upset with this, turned her gaze from her groom and
toward the mother and "looked daggers" at her. At this, the
mother
came
out of
her chair as if it were electrified and moved to the rear of
the audience. Guests laughed under their breaths, but everyone
knew the bride was thoroughly pissed. Although it has been
over
fifteen
years
since
I performed that wedding and I cannot recall anything else
about it, I can still see the bride, with her venomous
look, as if it were yesterday.
In
theater, actors and actresses learn what is called "Staying in
Character." This means- that if you or one of the other
actors forgets his lines or makes a wrong move,- you go with
it. You stay playing your character in his or her intended
role as if nothing has happened.
In
a wedding ceremony, if you show anger, or frustration, or irritation
with some unplanned event, I can guarantee you it's what your
guests will talk the most about regarding your ceremony. Do
you want that?
I
teach my couples that no matter what might happen during their
ceremony, they will remain calm and composed; in other words
"bullet proof." I and your ushers will take care of the problem
for you; you are always in my good care. Some problems, like
crying babies whose parents will not move to the rear present
a problem that we have to live with, since it is not proper to
eject a guest. Sometimes, even during a ceremony, we have to
grin and bear it. But you will gain far higher marks for remaining
elegant and composed through any challenge your ceremony might
present you, rather than showing anger or frustration with
it.
For
the thirty minutes of your ceremony, your behavior must be
"textbook." I will gently lead you though any unforeseen event.
Just show a little lightness, stay in character, and your classiness
will get you high marks.
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