Performing Your Dream in Real Time
Even though I have
90% of the speaking role in your ceremony, you and your bridal
party are going to do a lot more talking than I am, and
you're going to do by the way you conduct yourselves. Despite
my beautiful presentation of your ceremony, your guests will
be intently studying you, not me, and therein lies
an immense opportunity for the both of you.
 By conducting
yourselves in a focused,
calmed, at times lightly affectionate manner, and by taking
your time when interacting with loved
ones during your ceremony, your poised performance will
bring rave reviews.
Don't worry, you may not know how to
give such a performance right now but my thorough rehearsal
session with you, typically between an hour, to an hour and
a half in length, will have you well prepared and confident
for a stellar performance.
"It's not what you say, it's how
you say it," and "it's not what you do, it's how you do it,"
are well worn cliches aren't they? But never were they truer
than in a wedding ceremony. I learned a long time ago that
a couple who is lighthearted and confident, and whose wedding
ceremony is in their backyard, will easily eclipse, in terms
of audience enjoyment, a couple whose ceremony is at the Drake,
lavishly embellished, but whose hearts are in their mouths
with the look of a deer in the headlights on their faces.
You are not responsible for inherently
knowing how to do this. It is your officiant's responsibility
to instill it within you. My rehearsals are an hour and fifteen
minutes in length. Half of that time is spent showing everyone
their roles and how to perform them. The other half is spent
in coaching them, encouraging them, yes, calming them, but
most importantly instilling within them the confidence to become
a lead actor and actress.
Richard and Natalie's wedding is
featured on this page. What you don't see is the row of professional
video cameras filming this or the photographers moving around
them and their guests. Added to these are the hundred guests
intently watching them. Richard and Natalie
are in the zone, confident, elegant and poised and most of
all, enjoying themselves as they join their lives in marriage.
I
too am intently watching them. As they light their Unity
Candle and present their roses, I feel just as proud as
they
do. For it's the dynamic of poise in a bride and groom that
animates all, renders great photography, and incites within
the guests the kinds of complements every couple dreams of
hearing in their reception line.
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